What's the Point?

  Rather than discuss how long it's been since I've posted and blah blah, I'll cut right to the chase.

  I want to talk about optimism, and about the annoyingness that is negativity and criticism.

  I've been learning a lot about this topic since I began passionately and intensely educating myself on how success is achieved. I have been reading everything I can get my hands on that successful people have written. Listening to audiobooks. My mini van has become, as Brian Tracy puts it, a traveling classroom. I have been seeking to surround myself with positive people who have a positive outlook on life, dreams, and success. And as I learn more and more about all of this, something is coming more and more sharply into focus that is kind of fraying my nerves...

  There are a lot of negative thinking people in this world. A lot. Way too many. Like, it's pretty much angering.

  You know what I'm talking about. "Now, calm down there. Don't get too excited. That is probably not going to happen." "I'll believe it when I see it." "Wait, now you're talking about things that cost a lot of money." "Oh! The smart thing to do would be to..." "I don't see how that would work." "Most people don't really accomplish that." "If you ever make six figures per year, I'm coming to live with you." Um, no, you're not. Because it's so draining and ridiculous to spend so much time with someone who has no ambition or excitement for life.

  I feel like what these people are actually saying is, "What?? Don't show me up and do great things. I'm too afraid of failure to try anything, so of course I'm going to try rubbing my pessimistic nonsense onto you." Yeah, it's really dumb.

  And the people who just can't resist to comment negatively on really ANYTHING that seems easy going and carefree. Casting doubtful glances. Making rude or just plain negative comments, for whatever reason I could only guess because I can't get inside their small mind to view their thoughts.

  The one thing these people have in common? None of them are successful beyond average or mediocre. Hmmm. I wonder why that could be.

  Yeah, I know this is harsh and blunt. But I'd like to meet the overwhelming negativity of this world with an equally blunt dose of optimism and hope.

  Yes, you CAN be and do whatever the heck you want. Fight for it and work hard. Yes, you can accomplish the outrageous and do what you love, if you are willing to commit and sacrifice. No one could ever accuse a successful person of being practical.

  Anyway, I get it. I used to think life just happens to us and we can do little to control it. The fact is though, that we can happen to IT. Yes, I'm the girl who gets passionate and enthusiastic about new things. I can be kinda loud, too. Well, I embrace all of that. It's a gift. Thank God for it.

  Let's take things the extra mile past the happy idea of "Life can be what you want it to be..." and actually work toward that! Watch and listen as people will try to trip you up with discouraging and "realistic" comments, while they believe the lie that they are actually trying to "help" you.

  I think big, dream big, and hope big. What is the point of life otherwise? I want to really live, and not merely exist. I don't want to think small. I want to think huge. I don't want to absorb negative noise, I want to absorb all things lush and full of grand crazy notions. Do I have my bad moments? Heck yeah. Overall, however, I choose upward and onward. I choose faith, moving mountains, and thinking that accomplishes the impossible.

  I suppose I'm writing this because the culmination of becoming successful and growing has come to a head. All the subversive jabs and blatant mocking tossed my way have started to irritate me. Really irritate me. Writing about it is therapeutic! I've come to the crossroads where I need to start bringing the axe down. I really need to surround myself with positive people who look for how's instead of can'ts. People who look for the good instead of the bad. Call me Pollyanna.


  Love,

  Me.

 

  

 

It's a Lie!

I mentioned in my previous entry that I will be studying for a group exercise certification through NETA (National Exercise Trainers Association). 

Well, I have embarked on my studying program for this adventure.

I'm on day two of my studies, and I'm so inspired by what I'm learning. The bulk of what I'm studying right now is behavior, and how it can be very difficult to change behavior (really?! You don't say!). But it goes on to discuss what motivates most people to exercise, and why they often give up. 

Extrinsic and intrinsic motivations. That is what resonates so deeply for me right now in this first section of study. Extrinsic motivation is just how it sounds, external motivations. A prize, a number on the scale, etc. 

Intrinsic motivation comes from within. Finding something you truly enjoy doing. Exercising for the pleasure of it. Increased confidence.

And that's when it really clicked for me. The reason I have been so extremely passionate and willing to get up at 5 am to work out, and work out for 2 hours or more per day and endure sore muscles, packing ice on myself, but stay committed, is because I found my own deeply intrinsic motivation! The determination that I -will- be strong enough to accomplish feats of strength that I have only dreamed of, that I -will- be able to climb a pole, hang free, hold my own body weight for a length of time, and be generally overall powerful and strong. The beauty and grace of all of it is so immensely inspiring to me, that it has the power to make me cry. I like a lot of different activities. Pole, I -love-.

There is a saying that if you have a strong enough "why?" you can conquer any "how?" It's true. I have pushed through many days when I wanted to stay in bed or skip that day. But the vision hung in my head of what I was giving up if I did those things, so, the vision, passion and desire won out.

The study chapter concluded by discussing how extrinsic motivation produces, in most cases, failure. But I was already there. I already innately understood this. Once I read about what intrinsic motivation is, I knew that extrinsic is usually short-term! Physical appearance? Extrinsic. Prize at the office for most weight lost? Extrinsic. Congratulations from family and friends or to impress someone? Extrinsic.

We each need to find what intrinsically motivates us. What is an activity we love that we can get really excited about and have fun doing? Maybe it's kickboxing. Maybe it's dance. Maybe it's outdoor activities. Maybe it's challenging ourselves through 5Ks and marathons. 

Find what does it for you. Once you do, embrace the happiness and fulfillment it brings you and run with it at full speed. Now that I've started pole, that's it. I can't imagine life without it. Because I am so passionately in love with it, I choose to be somewhat indifferent to the ignorance surrounding the stigma of it. Not everyone is going to understand it, get it, support it, or be open whatsoever to what pole -actually- is, means, or accomplishes in my life and other people's lives. But uninformed opinions and thoughts have nothing to do with me, and certainly aren't going to stop the happiness, passion and connection to myself and emotional healing that I have realized through pole.

I love sharing things that I learn with others, and encouraging anyone who is willing to listen, and I love listening to it! I am a huge fan of knowledge. You really could call me a knowledge junkie. If I could go to school for the rest of my life, I would! 

I'll wrap this up by reminding myself and all of you that fear is a lie. Insecurity is a lie. Defeat is a lie. If you are allowing fear to stop you from doing what you really want, smash it down. Think of who you will be and what will be accomplished by you when you come out the other side of completing what you are afraid of. A very passionate and loving woman reminded me this week that fear is a lie!!! I needed to hear it.

We only get one life! Choose to live fearlessly!

Surprising Lessons for Unstoppable Me

My whole life I've been a "working out is something I should do to try to look better," kind of gal. That weak mentality of looking at your body and judging it ferociously. Arms too this, butt too that, waist too wide, etc, you know the drill.

Well gosh, there's something I've learned recently about that mentality.

It doesn't really work.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Who doesn't want to rock a hip hugging, low slung jean with no muffin top? Who doesn't want to wear a size six and look stunning in clothes right off the rack? That's not what I'm talking about, though. I've learned that when I approach fitness as -just- a way to look good, I'm missing, well, almost the entire point of fitness.

I recently had some awesome things happen. Granted, winter has taken its toll. Oh boy, has it ever. BUT, I have to praise God all the way to the heavenlies about my back issues healing. It's been such a long haul. It's been miserable, struggling, and difficult as you could believe. I've shed so many tears over it. Taken two steps forward, then fallen five steps back. Gained fat. When you have a weak core and as you try to strengthen it, your spine keeps giving out on you, it is a miserable journey at times. When you have a slow thyroid and get exhausted from time to time and foggy brained, it is a miserable journey at times. And I just wanted to GET FIT. And it couldn't happen yet. Infuriating.

Then one day, something happened. It occurred to me that I wanted, more than almost anything, to be able to lift my own body weight. To be able to spin around and accomplish amazing acrobatic feats on a pole. Now, I felt this way already, yes, but something finally clicked. I made a couple of  decisions. For one, my back was much better. For two, my progesterone levels were adjusted again so I wasn't so tired anymore. I decided to make being active a part of my life, instead of an "event to attend" in my life, so to speak. I decided that even if it takes months to be able to lift my own body, and even if I get exhausted mid workout and want to stop, to keep going. To push through it. To hold tight to that saying, "Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going." It sounds incredible, but I actually made the decision that even if my heart palpitates (which it does frequently), to push through it anyway. I've dealt with heart palpitations since I was a teen. I highly doubt my heart is going to give out on me now. And if I die, I'll die doing what I love. I'm not kidding. I'm not going to let any of it hold me back.

 I've also learned that a key to becoming and staying fit is to love yourself. It's corny, sounds cheesy, and may evoke some eye rolls from many, but holy moley, it's true! In fact, I don't know if it's even possible to get into shape without self love. The kind of love that won't allow you to treat yourself like trash. I've learned to tell myself, each and every day, "I accept myself unconditionally, right now." When you slather yourself with that much love, something about your way of thinking changes. A little bit at a time, you start to see less of what you don't like, and more of what you do. My entire perspective is changing, every single day.
I must credit A Course in Weight Loss (thanks, Aunt Faith!) for teaching me about the lie that overeating is expressing love to yourself. It's actually just the opposite. In our culture here in the US of A, there's a widely held belief that food is love. We feed and feed and feed ourselves and others because it is "comforting" and "healthy." Simultaneously, we are eating ourselves toward degenerative diseases, heart attacks and strokes. How did this misconception happen? I don't know. All I do know is that it's a lie.

 Additionally, I've learned to EAT and ENJOY it! Before my back healed, I was dwelling on what I was eating, trying to cut out carbs, obsessing over food because all I could do for my health was to eat better and walk to get rid of excess pounds. Now, I'm so liberated by all the strength training I'm doing, that I'm not obsessing over calories, carbs and crazy habits! I've never been one for calorie deprivation diets. It doesn't work for me. I tried Weight Watchers, and I was starving every day. I tried old fashioned calorie counting, and ugh! Talk about being hungry and feeling deprived constantly. Diets don't work. Ever. I've never known someone to start dieting and then successfully keep the weight off. I always have gained more fat than before, after quitting a diet.

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received in my life was this: Just incorporate more healthy whole foods into your diet, and over time it will crowd out the junk. So true! Talk about keeping it simple. No dramatic, sudden changes. No failing attempts. Just the conscious effort to incorporate more GOOD. Life is so much better that way.

Now, in true me fashion and because I like to grab the world by the horns and LIVE life furiously and with abandon, I've decided to become certified in group exercise. I've been talking to gyms in the area, and have met some very genuine, splendid people along the way. I've learned about the fitness biz and learned that I'd like to pursue a yoga certification when my group ex cert is complete. Yoga is in high demand right now in our area and, wonderfully, is a great companion for pole! And yes, I asked the Y director about incorporating pole in the future, and while the client base would likely not request it at this time, it's possible for the future.

One last thing and you can dash off.

I've learned that we must fight for joy. Every day of our lives. Sometimes happiness alights on us, and it is beautiful. In that moment, I say, grab it with both hands and embrace happiness for all you're worth. But joy? Joy is an underlying current, something we need to try to tap into from the depths of our guts when things are sucking and we want to die. Joy is the knowledge that God IS real, he DOES adore you and he DOES care about every detail. He cries with you. He hurts with you. He wants the absolute best for you. Joy isn't necessarily an emotion, but it is a state of mind, and a state of our spirits. Ask for peace, and choose joy.

So there are my two cents for the day, or week, until whenever I write a blog post again. It will likely be soon, cuz I'm learning a lot these days. And we all know that when I get excited, I like to write, and write and write. And when I'm in pain, I like to write, and write and write.

You are beautiful. Choose to love yourself, unconditionally, right now.

<3