Surprising Lessons for Unstoppable Me

My whole life I've been a "working out is something I should do to try to look better," kind of gal. That weak mentality of looking at your body and judging it ferociously. Arms too this, butt too that, waist too wide, etc, you know the drill.

Well gosh, there's something I've learned recently about that mentality.

It doesn't really work.

I mean, don't get me wrong. Who doesn't want to rock a hip hugging, low slung jean with no muffin top? Who doesn't want to wear a size six and look stunning in clothes right off the rack? That's not what I'm talking about, though. I've learned that when I approach fitness as -just- a way to look good, I'm missing, well, almost the entire point of fitness.

I recently had some awesome things happen. Granted, winter has taken its toll. Oh boy, has it ever. BUT, I have to praise God all the way to the heavenlies about my back issues healing. It's been such a long haul. It's been miserable, struggling, and difficult as you could believe. I've shed so many tears over it. Taken two steps forward, then fallen five steps back. Gained fat. When you have a weak core and as you try to strengthen it, your spine keeps giving out on you, it is a miserable journey at times. When you have a slow thyroid and get exhausted from time to time and foggy brained, it is a miserable journey at times. And I just wanted to GET FIT. And it couldn't happen yet. Infuriating.

Then one day, something happened. It occurred to me that I wanted, more than almost anything, to be able to lift my own body weight. To be able to spin around and accomplish amazing acrobatic feats on a pole. Now, I felt this way already, yes, but something finally clicked. I made a couple of  decisions. For one, my back was much better. For two, my progesterone levels were adjusted again so I wasn't so tired anymore. I decided to make being active a part of my life, instead of an "event to attend" in my life, so to speak. I decided that even if it takes months to be able to lift my own body, and even if I get exhausted mid workout and want to stop, to keep going. To push through it. To hold tight to that saying, "Unless you puke, faint, or die, keep going." It sounds incredible, but I actually made the decision that even if my heart palpitates (which it does frequently), to push through it anyway. I've dealt with heart palpitations since I was a teen. I highly doubt my heart is going to give out on me now. And if I die, I'll die doing what I love. I'm not kidding. I'm not going to let any of it hold me back.

 I've also learned that a key to becoming and staying fit is to love yourself. It's corny, sounds cheesy, and may evoke some eye rolls from many, but holy moley, it's true! In fact, I don't know if it's even possible to get into shape without self love. The kind of love that won't allow you to treat yourself like trash. I've learned to tell myself, each and every day, "I accept myself unconditionally, right now." When you slather yourself with that much love, something about your way of thinking changes. A little bit at a time, you start to see less of what you don't like, and more of what you do. My entire perspective is changing, every single day.
I must credit A Course in Weight Loss (thanks, Aunt Faith!) for teaching me about the lie that overeating is expressing love to yourself. It's actually just the opposite. In our culture here in the US of A, there's a widely held belief that food is love. We feed and feed and feed ourselves and others because it is "comforting" and "healthy." Simultaneously, we are eating ourselves toward degenerative diseases, heart attacks and strokes. How did this misconception happen? I don't know. All I do know is that it's a lie.

 Additionally, I've learned to EAT and ENJOY it! Before my back healed, I was dwelling on what I was eating, trying to cut out carbs, obsessing over food because all I could do for my health was to eat better and walk to get rid of excess pounds. Now, I'm so liberated by all the strength training I'm doing, that I'm not obsessing over calories, carbs and crazy habits! I've never been one for calorie deprivation diets. It doesn't work for me. I tried Weight Watchers, and I was starving every day. I tried old fashioned calorie counting, and ugh! Talk about being hungry and feeling deprived constantly. Diets don't work. Ever. I've never known someone to start dieting and then successfully keep the weight off. I always have gained more fat than before, after quitting a diet.

One of the best pieces of advice I've ever received in my life was this: Just incorporate more healthy whole foods into your diet, and over time it will crowd out the junk. So true! Talk about keeping it simple. No dramatic, sudden changes. No failing attempts. Just the conscious effort to incorporate more GOOD. Life is so much better that way.

Now, in true me fashion and because I like to grab the world by the horns and LIVE life furiously and with abandon, I've decided to become certified in group exercise. I've been talking to gyms in the area, and have met some very genuine, splendid people along the way. I've learned about the fitness biz and learned that I'd like to pursue a yoga certification when my group ex cert is complete. Yoga is in high demand right now in our area and, wonderfully, is a great companion for pole! And yes, I asked the Y director about incorporating pole in the future, and while the client base would likely not request it at this time, it's possible for the future.

One last thing and you can dash off.

I've learned that we must fight for joy. Every day of our lives. Sometimes happiness alights on us, and it is beautiful. In that moment, I say, grab it with both hands and embrace happiness for all you're worth. But joy? Joy is an underlying current, something we need to try to tap into from the depths of our guts when things are sucking and we want to die. Joy is the knowledge that God IS real, he DOES adore you and he DOES care about every detail. He cries with you. He hurts with you. He wants the absolute best for you. Joy isn't necessarily an emotion, but it is a state of mind, and a state of our spirits. Ask for peace, and choose joy.

So there are my two cents for the day, or week, until whenever I write a blog post again. It will likely be soon, cuz I'm learning a lot these days. And we all know that when I get excited, I like to write, and write and write. And when I'm in pain, I like to write, and write and write.

You are beautiful. Choose to love yourself, unconditionally, right now.

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