So It Begins

  I am pleased as punch to share that I've lost approximately three pounds in my first week of low carb eating.

 What's really awesome about this is that, ahem, I lost it even though I did not perfectly behave myself. I was merely my active, dog-walking (often treadmill as well) self, and just used some self discipline. Even though the first two days I felt like I was going to go crazy due to sugar withdrawals.

 What's even MORE awesome is that I was FINALLY able to cross pounds off of my chart (which I spent over an hour making, a few weeks ago, thank you very much). There is no feeling like that. It is incredibly motivating. The act of taking a fat black Sharpie and scrawling large black Xs across the pounds that are between myself and being fit and able to pole again (weight loss will help my back heal much faster) is more liberating and rewarding than treating myself to a sundae when I'm in a happy mood.

 I've also reached a milestone in building my business. Yeah, I want to talk about this for a minute. Probably more than a minute.
 I'm finally, after being tough at it for a little over a month, starting to get paid through building my business.
 I will say right here and now that building a business isn't easy. Nothing worth it ever is. But there is nothing more rewarding than watching your income go up and up, even in baby steps, as a result of your own ass-busting. No one held your hand and -made- you accomplish that.  No one baby-sat you or did the work for you. YOU did that. You drove yourself. Around neighborhoods, to friends and family's homes, and through every no, every door shut in your face, every hardship or scoff that you encountered.
  And THAT, is a darn good feeling. To be my own boss, not have anyone over my shoulder telling me the "right" or "wrong" way to do what I'm doing, exchanging ideas with my best friend (who happens to be my husband), to look forward to the day when he won't need to go to his job every day, we can work together, take trips whenever we like, and not worry about how to cover our bills each month.

  I've started listening to Jillian Michaels' book, Unlimited. In it, she talks about how we have been programmed, whether it be by family, society, friends, or anyone else, to settle in this life. To work at jobs we hate, settle for less than we truly want, because that's just how life is. When we dare to desire or dream, we are directly or subversively instructed to take it down several notches, play it safe, and squelch what we really want because, after all, it's arrogant and unrealistic to dream. The audacity of it! Or, we are mocked by others who are afraid to take risks themselves and the very thought of risking anything makes them uncomfortable. They never took risks and dared to dream, therefore your dreams must be slammed down, too. John Eldredge also addresses this issue in his book, Desire.
  I want to encourage you. If you have dreams, they CAN be realized. If you want to do something, do it! Only you are the one standing in your own way.

  I was once told that a business is built mostly on personal growth. It's true! If not, you'll have a horribly hard time getting anywhere if you don't want to grow as a person.

 Happy business-building, and happy low-carbing it!

~Me.

Today is the Day!

  The hubby and I begin our low-carb eating habits today.

  I researched eating low glycemic/low carb, and they're close to the same thing. While I've heard plenty of opinions on low carb (don't cut out any food groups, low carb is bad for you, etc), the fact is that our bodies simply do not need simple carbs (see what I did there?). Complex carbs we do need, but there just isn't much nutrition, if any, that comes from refined sugars and flours.

  Not only that, but I eat WAY too much bread. When I was eating low carb before, I couldn't believe how much better, lighter, and energetic I felt! It just seems like a brilliant way to reduce calories and excess sugar.

  One of the issues some also have with low carb is that fiber becomes an issue, as one isn't consuming whole grains as often. That can easily be remedied with putting more vegetables and fruit into one's diet!

  Don't eat "garbage health food" from boxes that is high in salt and fat with a severely diminished nutrition content! For me, it's an obvious answer.

 In addition, and this is what really sealed it for me, my chiropractor (who is pretty educated in the area of nutrition) advocates low carb eating! In fact, I give him the credit for encouraging me to have at it again, and also to invite my husband to join me! He pointed out how it's refined sugars that make us fat, not necessarily foods with fat in them. So thanks, Dr. James Jessen of Specific Family Chiropractic (if you schedule with him, be sure to let him know that I referred you so that I can earn a free massage!) :)

 I've also started meal planning! I'll be planning out our meals each week, cooking the ingredients needed, and freezing or refrigerating foods so that they are quick and easy to prepare. Because let's face it, it's unrealistic when you're living life to expect that you'll be able to cook a full blown, healthy gourmet dinner each night. Yes, I actually used to believe that this was possible when I was first married. And, oh yes, I learned that it's not, after losing my mind. A few times.

  Thanks for reading, and happy low carbing it!

Confessions of a Food Addict

  As I mentioned previously, I have a seriously unhealthy and emotionally draining relationship with food. It's a destructive relationship. A relationship that I have been trying to get out of for years now. 

  However, how does one get out of a relationship with something that they need to continue living? So tricksy! .

  I hear other folks who have struggled with food addiction talk as though they are BAM! healed or, BAM! "delivered" from it. "I don't even see food the same way anymore!" as though they are forever cured just like that, through some magic form of prayer, epiphanies, and spirituality. 

  Maybe I'm wrong, but I'm not buying it.

  Isn't it true that, with any addiction, we are fighting it until the day we die? An ex-alcoholic will always be a recovering alcoholic. An ex-druggie will always be a recovering drug addict. 

  I just listened the other day to Jillian Michaels discuss how she will forever be a recovering food addict until the day she dies. I thought "Amen! Thanks, Jillian! There is no magic method. Way to be honest." 

  There's also the fact that I am an ex-smoker. I've been quit over a year, and there are STILL days when I crave a puff! I am an addict, of some form or another. My addiction has manifested itself through cigarettes, and now mainly through food. 

  For those of you without addictions, nope, you don't know what you're talking about until you've gone through it. So just shush.     Ah, ah... shhh.  Trust me. You don't have a clue.

  I've been in a very tiring process as I strengthen my back. It's so difficult. Like, ridiculously. I have to do tedious exercises on the floor, and hate doesn't begin to describe how I feel about floor work. The -really- stressful and tough part is, my chiropractor won't allow me to do any strengthening exercises other than the ones he's prescribed for my back. Which I didn't listen to previously, which would explain why months later I'm STILL going through this process. I need to be happy though, that he told me I'm becoming more difficult to adjust, therefore my exercises are paying off! Yay!

  I can do nothing but the treadmill. So I get really crazy and put it at an incline. Woo. Hoo. Now we're talkin'.    

  Not really.

  Pole is my workout of choice, my passion, my heart's desire... and it is forbidden for the time being. My chiro actually showed frustration when I told him about the pole kicks I was working on. "You're kicking my work right out of place. You're not going to improve if you keep doing this." GAH! FINE! 

  Now, I've been doing cardio solidly 4-5 days per week for the last two weeks, and guess what?! 

  I GAINED A POUND!

  Just as I was ready to rip my hair out, I powowed with my chiro about it, to which he pointed out cutting out simple carbs as a simple way to get the weight down.

  Well, shoot. He had something there. So I talked to my husband and we'll both be eating low glycemic and cutting simple carbs out. I'm actually thrilled at the prospect of my husband joining me on this journey. We'll be setting a date and a goal plan. I'm really looking forward to it.

  When I was eating low glycemic/low carb before, I dripped off seven pounds like nothing. Why I didn't stick with it, I couldn't tell you. Lack of self control? Distractions? Not a strong enough "why?"

  The bottom line is, though, that this is a journey and no one can take it for you. There is no magic pill, magic anything, that can get you into shape and living the healthy life you want. You must choose. You must get off your ass. You must take the steps necessary. You must choose between a burger and a salad. I know! Isn't it hard? But worth it, right? So worth it. 

  I have 57 pounds to lose by my birthday. It's completely doable. Let the journey begin.

  

  

   

 

   

Getting Real

Welcome to my blog.

Seriously. Welcome.

It's taken me a while to get this started. I've had several folks recommend I do a blog but I just never got around to it. When you're raising three young children and three dogs (two of which are young, also), building a business, running a household, plus trying to scrape together time to spend with your husband, it's not like you think to yourself "Hmmm... I think I should do a blog! Yeah! That's the absolute best idea! What have I been waiting for?"

But honestly, writing is a great outlet for me. This shall be my cheap creative outlet. I'm all about cheap these days. 

When I created my blog account, I was really contemplating what exactly to write about. Like, what is the theme of this? What is the point of this? Well, I'm compelled to share my journey with fitness and health. You have no idea (okay, maybe you do) the rantings I could do on a daily basis regarding this journey. Holy smoke. From the women who weigh 120 and talk about how My Fitness Pal is like a "fun little game" and then fold themselves into thirds when they sit down, to the people who think less of you for having emotional eating issues, to the size of my jeans making me bawl in a dressing room, the rantings, emotions, and teeth gritting soar high.

I've always, as I often read it titled in magazine articles and books, "struggled with my weight." Starting when I was a teenager and in that awkward phase we all go through... even though, I was actually a GODDESS.  Do you ever look at photos from back then, and think "I was so screwed up! How the hell did I ever think I was fat?" Thank you, Seventeen, Teen, Glamour, and, well, pretty much any fashion/style/beauty magazine out there. I was the QUEEN of comparison. It became an obsession, and I didn't measure up. I never did, and was never going to. It's my goal, now, to lavish my own daughter with compliments on how gorgeous, precious, and amazing she is. When I talk about weight, I try my darndest to use words like health and fitness instead of "weight loss", or "fat."

I love fitness. I love to work out. Most of the time. If it's an activity I like, I'll do it. I love dancing, running, kayaking, canoeing and horse back riding. Fitness is not where my struggle lies with weight loss. Oh, no. 

I love to eat yummy food. And I'm an emotional eater. Happy day, have a sundae. Bad day, have a bag of chips. Or really, any time of day. Anywhere. Chips are amazing. We can't keep them in the house. Because I will eat them. Most of them. And most of the time, all of them. Which my husband does not appreciate. They're delicious, and satisfyingly crunchy. Yum, yum, yum.

However, I just saw a picture on Pinterest the other day of a morbidly obese woman digging into a half gallon of ice cream, next to a picture of an in-shape woman and it was captioned "Eat delicious, or look delicious." Puts things in perspective. Granted, the soul of my motivation is to be healthy, move around like a feather, and be quicker and competitive, and stronger, not die of health problems, and really just kick some serious keister.

And I'm just not going to be able to do that if I'm filling my face with tasty sugaryness several times per week.

Which brings me to the present. After a week of, what I thought was cutting back enough on calories, and working out hard and consistently, I gleefully rose from my bedchamber in the dim light of morning, and stepped onto the scale. I lost three tenths of a pound. Seriously?! REALLY?! 

Then, I got brutally honest with myself. "Well... I have been reading about the effects of alcohol on weight loss... and I drank this week... More than one... Okay, okay FINE! No more alcohol." Learning lessons.

 

In light of the scale not budging, however, I have the benefits of all the cardio from the past week. Five days of it. Go me! Never a failure. Never!

So here you shall read of my triumphs and failures, my rantings and ravings, and you may get to know me better than you wanted to!

I look forward to it.

~Me.